A Letter to My Students

Dear Hartzler Students of 1605,

As the school doors opened for another year, you sadly discovered I did not return to room 1605. When summer began, we both believed I would be there upon our return. I know how excited you were to come back and see all the familiar touches that made our room special—the selfie wall, the “You Matter to Me” messages on the board, the standing table that served as both a workspace and “snack table,” and of course, the beloved green jar of mints that rarely went empty. Unfortunately, that is not how you returned, and I sincerely apologize for taking all that away from you without even saying goodbye.

This blog post is to connect with you so that I can try to explain.

Within one calendar year, I faced significant changes in my health and endured a lot of grief. I received phone calls in the middle of class about the death of my father, followed by the passing of my father-in-law, two great aunts, and a dear uncle who was like a father to me. Carrying all that grief is heavy, and it continues to get heavier when you have to put on a positive mask and a smile every day.

As you know, teachers, just like everyone else, experience grief and personal challenges every year. Some teachers can sweep it under the rug, while others cannot. It’s not a sign of weakness nor a sign of strength, but simply a choice. However, the expectation to remain cheerful and energized in the classroom can be incredibly taxing. When anyone suppresses genuine feelings to appear strong, it leads to emotional exhaustion. Plus, when you add in the demands of work both in school and outside of school, in addition to having your own family, the weight becomes too much to carry.

This facade often leads to burnout and mental health struggles. While I received support from my family, fellow teachers, and administrators, I had to step back and honestly examine what the weight of it all was doing to me, both physically and emotionally.

This past summer, during a sunrise stroll along the beach with my journal, I made a list of my priorities, and it looked something like this: 

  • Restore my physical health – as I cheerfully celebrated my 50th birthday with so many of you, my health requires immediate and constant attention. 
  • Realign my spiritual health with God,
  • Regain genuine happiness, 
  • Be present with my family. 

Then, three weeks before school started, more challenges came my way, along with a few exciting opportunities that offered me a chance to prioritize those priorities while reigniting a career I love—writing. 

With these new opportunities, I had to make the most difficult decision: not return to the classroom. Unfortunately, we all have to make such difficult decisions at some point in our lives, and it’s more complicated when it significantly impacts those around us and those we care about; however, making difficult decisions is a part of life.

As you continue this year without seeing me in the hallway or 1605, please know that I am doing well, and never forget that you hold a special place in my heart because You Will Always Matter to Me.

PS: If you see me having lunch with the English teachers, cheering on your rival school (my son’s school) at games, or attending theater events, please come and say “hi.” I truly miss you.

PPS: The mint jar is with a 10th-grade teacher, and he might share one with you if you ask politely. Just tell him I sent you ❤

Pause

Putting this blog on pause while I reconnect, refocus, and clarify my purpose.

Thank you for your patience!

I’ll be back shortly…

Finding Peace, Calmness, and Stillness at Christmas: A Path to Deepening Our Connection with God

Christmas is a special time of year for so many and for so many reasons. Though I’m slowly getting into the Christmas spirit, I have to admit, this year is a very slow start, almost like wading through the sludgy part of the ocean. I’m not good at putting on an act of pretending to be happy because I show my emotions ninety percent of the time. I am also transforming my scarcity mindset, so all the spending is putting me through a challenging test. And I miss my dad. My whole family is coming together to my house this year to be together and to be there for my mom. I’m truly excited to have her here for two weeks and watch her bake with my son and share stories – something we missed out on because of distance and my father’s last years battling health issues. So, yeah, it’s a slow start feeling joyful this Advent season, which is why I’m turning to my writing. Writing is my God-given purpose in life. This I know. Writing is also my way of processing emotions and thoughts in order to find peace, calmness, and stillness, especially at Christmastime. In this blog post, I am exploring five practical ways to find tranquility during the Christmas season while nurturing my spiritual journey.

  • Embrace the Simplicity: In a world driven by consumerism, it’s crucial to embrace simplicity during the Christmas season. Instead of getting caught up in the frenzy of materialistic desires, focus on the true meaning of Christmas. Take a step back, reflect on the birth of Jesus, and let go of the pressure to buy extravagant gifts or host lavish parties. By simplifying our celebrations, we create space for stillness and allow ourselves to be more present in the moment.
  • Practice Mindfulness: Amidst the chaos, practicing mindfulness can help us find peace and calmness. Mindfulness involves being fully present in the moment, observing our thoughts and emotions without judgment. Take a few moments each day to sit in silence, focusing on your breath and grounding yourself in the present. This practice not only helps to reduce stress but also opens up a channel for a deeper connection with God.
  • Engage in Spiritual Practices: Christmas is an ideal time to engage in spiritual practices that bring us closer to God. Whether it’s attending church services, taking part in prayer groups, or reading sacred texts, these practices provide a sense of peace and tranquility. Set aside dedicated time each day to connect with your spirituality, allowing yourself to be still and listen to the whispers of the divine.
  • Connect with Nature: Nature has a way of grounding us and reminding us of the beauty and serenity that exists beyond the chaos of our daily lives. Take a walk in the crisp winter air, marvel at the snow-covered landscapes, take an evening stroll admiring all the neighbor’s light displays, or simply sit in a park and observe the wonders of creation. Connecting with nature not only brings a sense of calmness, but it also helps us appreciate the magnificence of God’s creation.
  • Prioritize Self-Care: Purposefully taking time to nurture your physical, mental, and emotional well-being amidst the busyness of the holiday season is essential for our self-care. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as taking a warm bath, practicing yoga, or reading a book by the warm glow of your Christmas tree. By taking care of ourselves, we create a foundation of peace and stillness that allows us to be more receptive to God’s presence.

During the Christmas chaos, finding peace, calmness, and stillness is not only possible but essential for deepening our connection with God. By embracing simplicity, practicing mindfulness, engaging in spiritual practices, connecting with nature, and prioritizing self-care, we can carve out moments of tranquility and invite the divine into our lives. This Christmas, let us remember that the greatest gift we can give ourselves and others is the gift of inner peace and a closer relationship with God.

National Day of Encouragement

September 12th is designated the National Day of Encouragement. It is a day to do what you can to lift others up and have a positive impact on the people around you. Yesterday, we took time to remember the victims of 9/11 and to really embrace the every day moments of family life. As my son continues on his high school journey, the reality of how fast time is going by is setting in. I know I only have a few more years left with him living with us and so every moment is becoming more and more precious. His age reminded me of the young adults that began the National Day of Encouragement. This remarkable group took it upon themselves to overcome the grim reality of negatives and turn to each other for encouragement. Within a short amount of time this project gained popularity and purpose. President George Bush declared September 12, 2007 the National Day of Encouragement.

As a teacher, I will be using tomorrow to bring awareness to this day and ask my students how they define the word “encourage” and what can they do to encourage another person today. As a writer, there is nothing more simpler and easy to do than write a letter/postcard. So from one writer to another, I ask that you please reach out and send a letter or a postcard to someone you may not have heard from in a long time. You can also leave random notes of encouragement in places like coffee shops or libraries. I once saw a random sticky note left on a changing table in a public bathroom addressed to ‘The Mom who is struggling or tired today.’ It simply said, “you are doing a great job keeping your child alive. You can do this today.”

For more ideas and to learn more about the National Day of Encouragement, please visit: https://nationaltoday.com/national-day-of-encouragement/

I encourage all of you to get out there and do something kind for someone today, even by writing a review on Etsy for an artist can go a long way in making someone feel uplifted. Remember the smallest acts of kindness can have the biggest impacts on a person’s heart.

Be well. Keep writing. Keep creating.

As always, I love to hear from my readers. Leave a comment letting me know what you did today to celebrate National Day of Encouragement.

In honor of MLK Day

“If you can’t fly, then run. If you can’t run, then walk. If you can’t walk, then crawl. Whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.”

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
MLK Monument

Whatever it is that you want to see changed in yourself or the world, YOU have the power to make a positive difference. With each small step in the right direction, you will reach your destination. So though these words are short today, keep taking those small, daily steps towards progress.

Just a quick word…

I want to keep this short as most people are feeling burnt out, exhausted, or are in some sort of phase of COVID. My thoughts are with you. My gratitude is with you.

Thank you.

Thank you for your patience.

Thank you for your understanding as I switched careers this last year and neglected this page.

Thank you for supporting me.

Thank you for encouraging me.

As we begin 2022, may it be full of warmth, joy, healing, and peace.

Do you take your own advice?

Last month, I dished out a lot “advice” for how to get yourself and your writing moving forward rather than staying static. In my classroom, I also give students “suggestions” (aka advice) for how to improve their reading endurance, writing skills, even their time management executive functioning skills. There are also many conversations we have that bring about disagreements. In my classroom, disagreements come with rules because for them, it needs to be a place of trust. After all, they are still learning, despite them thinking they don’t English classes in high school. It’s a promise I make to them on day 1 of school and it takes time to build the trust but when it’s there, students trust me to keep debates and disagreements free from judgement, free from name calling, free from bullying, free from all the nastiness. At the end of those discussions I remind them that this rarely happens online. It’s not meant to be a scare tactic, it’s meant to protect them from the lawlessness of the online world.

It’s advice I should haven taken for myself.

Recently I questioned a post on Instagram by a well-known Christian entrepreneur, life coach, writer, etc. which led to an onslaught of his devote followers to start slinging their arrows. I thought I would take my own advice, you know the advice I give my students,”ignore and scroll on.” However, with this post, I choose not to ignore and scroll on, I engaged – and by engaging, I questioned the other side of the story. I refused to take his post at face-value.

From that question alone, I began to carry my cross.

Names like “devil’s advocate” and “satan’s worker” became my labels. It didn’t feel good. His crowd of followers brought into question my faith. I know where I stand in my walk with Christ and I never surround myself with people whereby I need to justify that relationship, especially online. Yet, here I stood fighting off their arrows. Then I took one more arrow than I could handle. The simple pierce of the tip had me teetering on the edge of a dark depression that I know all too well. I felt like one more word would send me into that darkness and I didn’t want to go there, so without any more words or justifications, I walked away. That didn’t make them stop.

Four days later, their new words included, “coward” “too scared to fight” “If you are truly a Christian, you wouldn’t have questioned and then walked away.” The grace of one follower sent me a DM explaining the other side of the story and apologized for giving into the mob mentality. I appreciated her reaching out and responded cautiously.

I shared this experience with my students so they could see that even as an adult, I made a bad decision, didn’t follow my own advice, and suffered the consequences.

I continue to teach my students to question everything. Never take something you read, especially online, at face-value. Research. Read more. Look at both sides. Most importantly, I never allow my students to apologize for asking questions. In a trusted space, questions are welcomed, questions are learning opportunities.

Should I have done my own research before engaging online? Yes.

Should I have walked away without engaging? Possibly.

Should I have checked my armor for cracks before treading into a territory, that I know from past experience, could lead to a fight? Yes.

Did I expect this treatment from fellow Christians? Never.

So will I take my own advice in the future and remember that engaging online is very much like swimming farther into the ocean than your comfortable with, because you could be in trouble very quickly? Possibly…if I have a life vest.

Feeling like a static character?

The number one way readers judge characters is by how much they change. Do they change, or are they static? Most characters must change, especially the main character, but what about others characters in a story? Do they all change? No matter how slight of a shift, all characters should change. If they don’t, they risk not being in the story.

Static characters got me thinking about writing and writing habits. Has your writing changed over these last few years? Have your habits remained static? Is the thought of writing word after word too heavy? If so, how do we push or pull ourselves out of this rut? 

We must start by being honest. Ask yourself these questions and take time to ponder them: 

  1. Have you weighed yourself down with studying the craft of writing to the point of never putting it into practice? Learning the art of writing is essential. It must never stop, but it must not prevent you from starting or restarting your writing. I tell my students that we can study all week long, but we have to put what we are learning into practice at some point. It’s the only way to evolve. 
  2. Who is sitting at your table? In other words, who surrounds you? Are you feeding those around you more than you are feeding yourself? Are others starving you? Are the people you spend time with and energy on a time suck? It’s a tricky question to answer, and it can be painful. Too often, we find it easy to put others and their needs before our own. If you find yourself in one of these roles, it becomes even more tricky: a parent, a spouse, a caretaker, a teacher, a mentor, or a coach. These roles make it hard for us to find and take care of ourselves or our writing careers. We feel guilting saying ‘no’ to others to the point of sacrificing our dreams and energy. Writing requires creating boundaries. If you continue offering your time [and energy] helping others achieve their dreams, that book or blog may never come to reality.  Note: I am not saying don’t take care of your children or elderly parents or a loved one that needs your help, but you should find carve out some time for yourself and writing – trust me, it’ll be hard at first, but rewarding in the end. 
  3. Are you consistent and disciplined? Discipline and consistency – two keys to a fulfilled writing life. You must be intentional with your writing and your time. Show up to the page no matter what! If you have the best ideas and your energy is high early in the morning before the world around awakes, set the alarm, get up, splash some water on your face, drink some water or coffee or tea and sit down to write. Even if it’s too early for the screen, show up for the page. I love writing with a good ol’ BiC ballpoint pen or pencil on paper. It’s less strain on my eyes. Once you begin to show up, be disciplined and consistent, I guarantee you’ll feel a shift. Tip: plan out the night before what you want to write. It’s takes away the distraction or the temptation to procrastinate. 
  4. What frightens you? For years I was afraid. I was fearful of what others thought about my writing. In the last few years, I’ve matured enough to know that I wasted too much time worrying about letting others down that I can confidently say I’ve let my characters down. I’ve let my ideas down. I let myself down. It has nothing to do with other people; it has everything to do with yourself. I know this sounds selfish, but after all, you are writing a story because something happened to you or you have something to say. Get it on paper. Find some trustworthy sets of eyes to read what you write. Now you may be thinking I’m too afraid to share what I write because ‘what if someone steals my ideas or my words?’ Most writers I know, I trust. I have a small circle of writer friends that I send work to because we’ve built trust. How? We’ve met at several writing retreats, we write in different genres (same age group), and we encourage each other through the hard times. I’ve removed the fear of someone stealing my story or ideas. Yes, this is a valid concern! However, it shouldn’t stop you from sharing your work when you need professional and honest feedback (this comes back to point #2, you may need to find a new table). So again, assess what is scaring you from getting your work out in the real world. I won’t go into the traditional v self-publishing debate but work on conquering your fears so your stories can find a home in someone else’s hands.
  5. Do you start and stop? I am a chronic starter. I am an ideas person. I tried to blame it on my Gemini nature, but one day I laid out all the manuscripts I have started on my bed. These stacks of unfinished works took up a queen-size bed. The number of unfinished manuscripts was staggering! Talk about a slap-in-the-face dose of reality. I sat in that mess. I owned that mess. Once the self-berating emotions stopped, I made a pivot. I took sticky notes and began to write the good qualities of each manuscript, along with being honest about why I stopped. Some didn’t work. Others, I lost interest in the storyline. Some got stuck with too many plot holes, and I couldn’t find a way to fix them. In the end, there were less than four that I put aside. These are the ones I genuinely want to see published. Sometimes, we have to face the mess and begin to clean it up. If you are a chronic starter, it’s time to get honest with yourself. Ask yourself, why do I start and not finish? Am I a perfectionist, which is nothing more than fear in disguise? Do I have a genuine interest in writing? Do I have depression or ADD, something that is physically stopping me from producing a project? These are all valid reasons why people quit. You first need to face it head-on and ask for guidance or help. 

Every little change will evolve you from being a static writer to a productive writer. Most importantly, I want you to be gentle with yourself. We all make mistakes. We all trip and stumble and fall. Don’t quit on your writing! Don’t quit on your writing dreams!

Which one will you focus on to help you get out of a writing rut? If you have other helpful hints to move out of a slump, please share! After all, writing is a journey meant to be shared.

Be sure to check out my Writers on Task journal. This simple, easy-to-follow journal can keep you moving towards your writing goals.

check your bags

I feel bad for the word resolution. It has a negative connotation associated with each new year. I do not set New Year’s resolutions because like many others, I fail at them. Quite frankly after 2020, I know a lot of people are refusing to set resolutions because if we learned anything from COVID-19, it’s that nothing is certain. Plans cancelled. Countries shut down. Travel came to a stop. The entire world came to screeching halt. So what’ the point in setting resolutions for 2021? Instead of resolutions, this year I’m going to negotiate what I want to carry with me from 2020 into 2021 and what I’ll leave behind.

Photo by Nubia Navarro (nubikini) on Canva

Here’s what I’ll be carrying into 2021: my disciplined daily bible reading, finished & unfinished manuscripts, my company, my new teaching career, professional networks, my writing connections, time boundaries, and the determination to increase engagement and readership on my site.

What’s not coming with me into 2020: fear, excuses for not writing, unfinished-ness (the art of not finishing what I started), saying “yes” or “sure” to everyone and everything (people pleasing), health problems (COVID weight gain and this writing & teaching sedentary lifestyle and all its side effects), and a resume that no longer serves my career or business.

I’m sure both of these lists can contain more but it’s a start. I’ve written them down so I can check in with myself from time to time throughout 2021. And of course I’ll be carrying the love that I have for my husband, my family, and friends into the new year – that’s always a non-negotiable!