Pause

Putting this blog on pause while I reconnect, refocus, and clarify my purpose.

Thank you for your patience!

I’ll be back shortly…

Happy Winter

Like many others, I like to reflect on the past year. Instead of making goals and resolutions, I list what I am carrying into the new year and what I am leaving behind. So, on this cold, rainy winter evening, it’s time for me to get cozy and make room for new possibilities. It’s a time to allow my spirit room to imagine, to believe that I can return to the calling placed on my life. It’s time to reset and rise early tomorrow morning for quiet prayer time prior to the busyness of teaching and life. Time to embrace these next two long winter months to layout my new year.

The one thing I will always carry with me into the new year is my writing. It is my calling, my purpose. It may take on many different forms: blogging, copywriting, teaching, short stories, novels, inspirational posts, and so much more. Regardless of what form my writing takes, it’s writing. It’s a passion I cannot live without.

Though this is just the beginning of what I carry forth, I know there will be more. I also know a few things I am leaving behind, but I am not ready to share them. So, I encourage you to take these cold winter months and reflect on what is serving you and what has served its purpose.

I wish you all a new year filled with warmth, love, and peace.

Christmas Cocoa

Staying Healthy During Christmas: A Guide to Nourishing Your Body and Mind

Ah, Christmas! The season of joy, love, and… indulgence. It’s no secret that the holiday season often comes with a plethora of delicious treats and hearty meals that can easily derail our healthy eating habits. But fear not! With a little bit of planning and mindfulness, you can enjoy the festivities while still nourishing your body and setting yourself up for a healthy and refreshed start to the new year. 

In today’s blog post, I’m teaming up with one of the healthiest and most nutritiously disciplined people I know, my sister, Jill Dobrowansky. Jill has been a huge motivator and helps me with navigating the unfamiliar and often confusing world of nutrition. She is a master at reinventing family recipes and daily dishes with a healthy spin, which tastes the same. Most importantly, she is my oldest sister who is my biggest supporter of healthy living. Though this is a journey that I struggle with (hello carbs and chocolate addictions), I know I can always turn to her for advice and guidance. 

The Benefits of Healthy Eating – this is not a guilt trip, it’s a gift!

Before we dive into our guided interview, let’s take a moment to remind ourselves of the incredible benefits that healthy eating brings. Not only does it provide our bodies with the essential nutrients they need to function optimally, but it also boosts our energy levels, strengthens our immune system, and supports our mental well-being. By maintaining healthy eating habits during the holiday season, you’ll be giving yourself the gift of vitality and setting the stage for a successful year ahead.

Plan and Be Mindful

The key to staying on track with your healthy eating goals during Christmas is to plan and be mindful of your choices. Here are a few tips to help you navigate the holiday season with grace:

Set Realistic Expectations: It’s important to remember that Christmas is a time for celebration and enjoyment. Allow yourself to indulge in moderation without feeling guilty. Instead of striving for perfection, aim for balance and make conscious choices that align with your overall health goals.

Me: Jill, one small bite is usually my downfall. How can I avoid letting one small indulgence lead to full-on permission to consume said indulgence in mass quantities or daily? 

Jill: I love this question! Like you, I love small bites and ‘grazing’ too. This comes down to being in the moment and being cognizant of what you are eating. Our distractions (e.g., phones, conversations, streaming, etc.) keep us disconnected from what we are eating and how much we are eating. There are two things I like to do when I am eating at the holiday time:

  • Put my fork and or plate down in between bites. This gives your neurons time to process the signals they are getting from your stomach. The time in between each bite allows you to chew your food properly and to take a breath (or two). It also allows us to take a sip of water or beverage which also helps us digest our food and make us feel fuller sooner.
  • Give yourself grace. The holidays can be a busy time when we don’t even pay attention to what and how much we are eating. When we find that we might have overindulged, we need to reset the next day. Take some time in the morning to enjoy a mug of warm, lemon water, open your Bible, and show yourself the grace that Jesus gave us. Remind yourself that overindulgence does not define you, and every day is a new opportunity to start anew. 

Fill Up on Nutrient-Dense Foods: When attending holiday gatherings or hosting your own, make sure to include plenty of nutrient-dense foods on your menu. Load up on colorful fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains. These foods will not only provide you with essential vitamins and minerals but also help you feel satisfied and less likely to overindulge in less healthy options. 

Me: Each Christmas Eve we do a charcuterie board filled with dairy, meats, crackers, etc. How can we best weave in healthy grains and more veggies beyond olives? Can you share your recipe from last year? I think it was a hummus spread with pomegranates.

Jill: This is always a challenge! Each year, you request that I ‘bring the freshness’ to our Christmas Eve gathering. I always love this and look forward to making something new that everyone will enjoy. Truth be told, I think about this all year and what I can do to contribute to our typical charcuterie board with something everyone will enjoy and be surprised about. Last year, I tried a new recipe to sneak in some beans and it was a huge hit! Download the recipe card below!

Download Jill’s White Bean Christmas Crostini Recipe Below

Be Mindful of Portion Sizes: It’s easy to get carried away with large portions during festive meals. Practice mindful eating by paying attention to your body’s hunger and fullness cues. Take your time to savor each bite, and stop eating when you feel comfortably satisfied. Remember, you can always go back for seconds if you’re still hungry.

Me: I am terrible at portion control! I’ve tried smaller plates, and drinking water in between each bite, but portion control is hard! How can I best avoid letting my eyes set my portion? 

Jill:  This comes down to being in the moment and conscience of what you are doing. We have the tendency (guilty) to want to multitask when we are cooking, spending time with family, eating, etc. While we might be physically present in the moment, our brains are thinking about all the things we need and/or want to do. However, if we take the time to slow down and enjoy the moment, we are less likely to overindulge. Some ideas I keep in my back pocket for when I am feeling like I am letting my portions get out of control are: 

  • Conversation Starters (putting your plate down as you listen attentively)- ask the eldest family member to share one of their favorite Christmas memories; ask everyone to share their favorite Christmas tradition; ask everyone to share what they are thankful for this Christmas; share your fondest memory from the past year.
  • Leaving the Room – If you are not sitting down for a formal dinner, this strategy has helped me throughout the years. When I find myself consumed with the food in front of me, I will go into another room and remove myself from the temptation of eating everything in front of me. This allows me to take a couple of deep breaths, relax, and refocus my attention from the food to something else (typically the Christmas tree and all its ornaments or decorations). 
  • Step Outside – When we are visiting your house, I have the option to step out of the kitchen and onto the back deck. Similar to leaving the room, it allows me a moment to take a deep breath, get some fresh air, and reset my mindset to focus on the peace and joy of the season. Typically, I will look up to the sky, thank God for sending Jesus into the world on Christmas, and think about how the shepherds who were told about the birth of the Messiah looked up to the same sky. It won’t be a long time I am out there, only a few minutes, but it is enough to get crisp air into my lungs and take a moment for myself.  

Stay Hydrated: Amidst all the holiday cheer, don’t forget to stay hydrated. Drinking enough water throughout the day will not only keep you feeling refreshed but also help curb unnecessary snacking. Opt for water or herbal teas instead of sugary drinks or alcohol, which can add empty calories and dehydrate your body.

Me: I don’t necessarily struggle with water consumption, but I know a lot of people do. What are some ways to make water consumption more appetizing, especially if you are avoiding alcohol or sugary, fizzy drinks:

Jill: The holidays are a perfect time to spruce up your water! I love to add frozen cranberries as ice cubes to my water or fresh orange slices to bring a bit of festivity to my glass. Another thing I do is to have my water in a ‘fancy glass’. Whether that is a wine glass, champagne flute, or fine crystal, I will put my beverage in it. I especially love to pour a champagne flute of sparkling water or ginger ale, add some frozen cranberries or pomegranate seeds, and toast the night away! Another thing I do is to make sure I front-load my water earlier in the day. From the moment I wake up and throughout the day, I drink my water. This way, my body isn’t dehydrated from the start. I also make sure I have a large glass of water before I go to bed. Typically this is room-temperature water so it can aid in overnight digestion. 

Incorporate Physical Activity: Maintaining an active lifestyle is just as important during the holiday season. Find ways to incorporate physical activity into your daily routine, whether it’s going for a brisk walk, dancing to your favorite holiday tunes, or joining a virtual workout class. Not only will exercise help burn off those extra calories, but it will also boost your mood and reduce stress.

Me: I hate exercising. I love walking but that’s truly about it. I tend to see getting housework and yard work done as a form of exercise, but I know it’s not enough. And as an avid reader and writer, I do tend to sit for longer periods of time. What do you do when you don’t feel the motivation to work out? What do we do on these dark, cold, often rainy/dreary days? 

Jill: Lol…I am the opposite as I love to exercise. Like you, I do sit for long periods of time writing and reading but I use what I have dubbed the ‘book-end’ approach to exercising. In the mornings, I will go for a walk, run, or hit the gym for a quick strength-building session. Then, at the end of the day, typically before bed, I will take 15-20 minutes to stretch or complete a yoga series. This way I am starting my day with movement and ending it with movement. Another thing I do over the holiday season is adjust the length of my workouts. There is nothing wrong with only working in a 30-minute morning session instead of an hour or just finishing my day with a series of stretches before bed instead of a full yoga session. 

Another approach is to set your smartwatch, ring, or phone to remind you to stand up and move (and drink a glass of water) every hour on the hour. My smartwatch has a schedule I set to remind me to stand up, move, and drink 8 ounces of water every hour based on my non-sleep times. There are days when my movement is walking up and down the stairs in my house a couple of times, but every little thing counts! If you do not have a smartwatch or ring, there are free apps you can put on your phone that will give you reminders.

Seek Support and Accountability: Enlist the support of your loved ones in your quest for healthy eating during Christmas. Share your goals with them and ask for their understanding and encouragement. Consider finding an accountability partner who shares similar health aspirations, and together, you can navigate the holiday season with ease.

Me: I don’t have a question, but I want to thank you for always being my biggest supporter and champion for health. You have truly helped me and continue to help me as I go through menopause and approach 50 years old with adopting a healthy eating appreciation so that I can live long – big LOVE!

Jill: I am honored to be a part of your blog and journey! We are so blessed to be able to love and support each other through life, menopause and all. Merry Christmas!

Embrace the Joy of Healthy Eating

Remember, healthy eating doesn’t have to be a chore or a sacrifice. Embrace the joy of nourishing your body with wholesome foods that make you feel vibrant and alive. Use this holiday season as an opportunity to explore new recipes, experiment with seasonal produce, and discover the pleasure of mindful eating.

By keeping up your healthy eating habits during Christmas, you’ll not only enjoy the festivities guilt-free but also set yourself up for a healthy and refreshed start to the new year. So, go ahead and savor the flavors of the season while nourishing your body and mind. Cheers to a happy and healthy holiday season!

Need more recipe ideas or a reset for the new year? Visit Jill’s best-selling book: Faith and Fasting on Amazon Jill’s IG Page, The Plant Powered Pantry for that much-needed healthy motivation in your feed! 

Disclaimer: The information in this blog post should not be taken as medical advice. If you require a medical diagnosis or prescription, or if you are contemplating any major dietary change, please consult with a certified healthcare provider. You should always seek an expert opinion before making changes in your diet, supplement regime, or lifestyle.

Finding Peace, Calmness, and Stillness at Christmas: A Path to Deepening Our Connection with God

Christmas is a special time of year for so many and for so many reasons. Though I’m slowly getting into the Christmas spirit, I have to admit, this year is a very slow start, almost like wading through the sludgy part of the ocean. I’m not good at putting on an act of pretending to be happy because I show my emotions ninety percent of the time. I am also transforming my scarcity mindset, so all the spending is putting me through a challenging test. And I miss my dad. My whole family is coming together to my house this year to be together and to be there for my mom. I’m truly excited to have her here for two weeks and watch her bake with my son and share stories – something we missed out on because of distance and my father’s last years battling health issues. So, yeah, it’s a slow start feeling joyful this Advent season, which is why I’m turning to my writing. Writing is my God-given purpose in life. This I know. Writing is also my way of processing emotions and thoughts in order to find peace, calmness, and stillness, especially at Christmastime. In this blog post, I am exploring five practical ways to find tranquility during the Christmas season while nurturing my spiritual journey.

  • Embrace the Simplicity: In a world driven by consumerism, it’s crucial to embrace simplicity during the Christmas season. Instead of getting caught up in the frenzy of materialistic desires, focus on the true meaning of Christmas. Take a step back, reflect on the birth of Jesus, and let go of the pressure to buy extravagant gifts or host lavish parties. By simplifying our celebrations, we create space for stillness and allow ourselves to be more present in the moment.
  • Practice Mindfulness: Amidst the chaos, practicing mindfulness can help us find peace and calmness. Mindfulness involves being fully present in the moment, observing our thoughts and emotions without judgment. Take a few moments each day to sit in silence, focusing on your breath and grounding yourself in the present. This practice not only helps to reduce stress but also opens up a channel for a deeper connection with God.
  • Engage in Spiritual Practices: Christmas is an ideal time to engage in spiritual practices that bring us closer to God. Whether it’s attending church services, taking part in prayer groups, or reading sacred texts, these practices provide a sense of peace and tranquility. Set aside dedicated time each day to connect with your spirituality, allowing yourself to be still and listen to the whispers of the divine.
  • Connect with Nature: Nature has a way of grounding us and reminding us of the beauty and serenity that exists beyond the chaos of our daily lives. Take a walk in the crisp winter air, marvel at the snow-covered landscapes, take an evening stroll admiring all the neighbor’s light displays, or simply sit in a park and observe the wonders of creation. Connecting with nature not only brings a sense of calmness, but it also helps us appreciate the magnificence of God’s creation.
  • Prioritize Self-Care: Purposefully taking time to nurture your physical, mental, and emotional well-being amidst the busyness of the holiday season is essential for our self-care. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as taking a warm bath, practicing yoga, or reading a book by the warm glow of your Christmas tree. By taking care of ourselves, we create a foundation of peace and stillness that allows us to be more receptive to God’s presence.

During the Christmas chaos, finding peace, calmness, and stillness is not only possible but essential for deepening our connection with God. By embracing simplicity, practicing mindfulness, engaging in spiritual practices, connecting with nature, and prioritizing self-care, we can carve out moments of tranquility and invite the divine into our lives. This Christmas, let us remember that the greatest gift we can give ourselves and others is the gift of inner peace and a closer relationship with God.

Motivational Writing Tips: Part III

Welcome to the final post of our Motivational Writing tips – tips to restart your writing habits and keep you writing. The last two posts focused mindset shifts to help you renew or refocus your writing habits. So many life factors can interrupt a daily writing habit, and we must accept that this will happen to us occasionally; however, writers need to be conscious of how far we allow the disruption to steer us from our dreams and writing goals. If you are a writer experiencing a drift, take a moment right now and reflect on your productivity as an author and get ready to reestablish writing consistency. Once you have this honest chat about your writing habits, you will be more motivated to return to the page.

9. Stay Consistent: This is the biggest struggle for most writers, especially those with full-time jobs, little ones, driving teens, aging parents, or physical impediments. Life happens to us all, and that is when doing something consistently can either feel like a burden or provide a sanctuary. If there is one thing I have learned about and struggled with the most, it’s consistency. On days when energy is illusive, or everything keeps knocking on your door, I highly encourage you to find a few moments to sit down and write, even if it’s only a few sentences. These little actions send a big message to the universe that you are not giving up even on your most challenging days. I promise you that these consistent efforts will lead to significant progress over time.

10. Connect with a Community: Find your tribe! If groups of people aren’t your thing, find at least one person who writes. Surrounding yourself with like-minded people encourages you to show up for yourself and your writing regularly. Connecting and checking in with a group or a partner is accountability. Again, you are telling the universe that you are on this path and will find people to help you stay on the track. Strength in numbers, my friends! Don’t be afraid to share experiences, challenges, and successes with your tribe! The only thing I caution you about is online groups. Ensure you vet the online groups/communities before sharing your work. Sharing our work with others is frightening. Unfortunately, there are ill-willed people out there. Build the relationship first before sharing your work, but don’t let it stop you from finding your writing community. And if it genuinely frightens you, start a group where you make the rules of engagement. However you approach it, finding your writing people will help you reach your writing goals quicker. 

11. Focus on the Process: Though this sounds like one of those wood signs you find in Hobby Lobby, there is a lot of truth behind the process’s value. Shifting your focus solely from the result to the process itself is where we get better. It’s that space where we can celebrate the little wins and big wins. Imagine only celebrating the 70,000th word? While reaching the end of your novel is worth celebrating, other milestones deserve a celebration to keep you going! Why not reward yourself for completing chapter one or when you solve a hole in the plot? Engaging deeply in writing and exploring characters and worlds can be intrinsically rewarding. Rewards do not need to be costly objects; while they can be, they can also be something as simple as a new sticker for your laptop, an extra 20 minutes on social media, a nap, an adult beverage, or a cupcake. However you choose to celebrate, set up your milestones. With each milestone you pass, you become a stronger writer.  

12. Reflect on Achievements: I highly encourage authors to journal their achievements, no matter how small. When feeling discouraged, you can reflect on these accomplishments to remind yourself how far you have come. Teachers often have a small box or envelope filled with notes and pictures of appreciation. These notes help them during their most challenging time. Writers, too, should have moments to sit back and reflect on the challenges they overcame and milestones they surpassed. Saving rejection letters is a big thing among authors. It becomes their drive and reminder to keep going, to prove them wrong. Always create space in your calendar to reflect on all you have gained. 

Every writer is unique, so you must tailor any advice you receive to serve your purpose. By providing practical tips and fostering a positive mindset, I am empowering you, struggling authors, to overcome obstacles and thrive in your writing endeavors.

We are a community here, and I’d love to hear how you get back on course when life gets in your way and writing takes a backseat. Leave a comment below. 

Motivational Writing Tips: Part II

In last week’s post, we discussed getting into a motivational mindset for any writer struggling or needing a reset. Now is the perfect time to shift your mindset from struggling to striving because the seasons are about to change, and NaNoWriMo preparation month is only a few weeks away! 

This week, let’s focus on the next four steps in our 12 steps of cultivating a positive writer’s mindset. Here we go:

4. Morning Routine: You will hear this in every motivational mindset training known to humankind. Ask any successful person, and they will tell you that they have a non-negotiable morning routine – it is a routine that they rarely skip out on and never apologize for having. This routine travels with them as well. Hotels. Family vacations. Bad weather. Good weather. There are no excuses for skipping out on their morning routine. Starting your day with prayers, positive affirmations, exercise, journaling, or watching the sun rise has endless benefits on your mindset. It sets a positive tone for the day. It may feel like the only positive thing that happens on some days! It may be the only task you accomplish on some days. But again, it sets the tone for the day. Make your morning routine positive and non-negotiable. If you don’t feel like getting out of bed, do the Mel Robbins 5-4-3-2-1 countdown. Remember your ‘why’ ~ remind yourself why you are getting out of bed.

5. Visualize Success: I am new to practicing visualizing (or manifesting). It follows the general law of attraction. If you can see it, you can be it. I encourage you to visualize your writing success. Imagine the accomplishment and joy you’ll feel when you complete your writing project. Several authors I know take pictures of themselves sitting on a mini-stage in Barnes and Noble. They imagine what it will be like when they are a guest speaker reading from their novel. Once you have your success image, have faith that God (or whatever higher power you believe in) will make it bigger than you can imagine. I often talk about ways to serve others with or without commercial success. After all, helping someone who is facing a struggle or is just beginning something you have been working on for years is what we need in this world, especially now more than ever.

6. Practice Self-Compassion: Writing can be challenging, and setbacks are a normal part of the process. I encourage you to practice self-compassion and treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer to a friend. I listened to a conversation with Matthew McConaughey last week in which he talks about how to be the best version of ourselves to serve others. The biggest takeaway was when he said, “We must learn how to be selfish to be selfless.” It was a simple statement, but it is heavily weighted in truth. To be the best versions of ourselves, we must take care of ourselves first, and then we can help others. We can serve other’s needs because most of ours have been met. Think about what needs you have right now. For me, my physical health needs attention. I need to overhaul how I eat for my body to feel well. So, I have to comfort myself by giving it organic foods that will fuel me rather than the inflammation. All summer, I’ve been practicing mindfulness. I’m taking time to pray and journal at sunrise. This small 30-minute practice gives my anxious brain time to be calm. It gives me time to breathe in peace. Another trick by Mel Robbins is the High-5 habit. Every morning, she looks herself in the eye in the bathroom mirror and gives herself a high-5 – physically touching her hand to the mirror. Giving yourself this type of encouragement is a form of self-compassion. It feels awkward at first, but it can be powerful.

7. Find Inspiration: If you are stuck in a writing rut, I want to help you discover sources of inspiration. Whether reading other authors’ work, exploring new genres, or taking nature walks, finding what fuels your creativity can make the writing journey more enjoyable. If you are tired of walking in nature or around your neighborhood, go to a coffee shop in a nearby metropolitan area and people-watch. Immerse yourself in a new environment. Take a journal with you to capture the moment using all five senses. And vice-versa. If you live in a city, go to a nearby park. Taking an informational course can be inspirational to your writing. Seek out free online seminars about topics you always wanted to learn about. I have a very active public library that always hosts hands-on workshops or lectures, and it’s all free. One day, I found an old church and asked if I could sit in the chapel. I sat there for nearly an hour, taking in the stained glass windows, listening to the pew creaking under my shifting weight, and noticing the smell of frankincense and lemon polish. If there’s one thing I am sure about, it’s that to find inspiration, we must unplug. Unplug from the phones and the noise of the world (even if it’s positive). Start by taking a few minutes and then a few hours, eventually taking breaks for an entire day. It will feel good, I promise. You might have some anxiety initially, but the more you ditch the noise, the calmer you will feel.

This mini-series aims to bring you closer to your writing dreams and help you breathe new life into your writing life. Making subtle shifts can have profound effects on your life. Come back next week for the final four tips! 

I’d love to hear if any of these tips resonate with you and if you have tried them or plan to give them a shot! Remember, writing is a journey worth sharing.

Motivational Writing Tips

Helping struggling authors find motivation and develop a positive mindset is incredibly valuable in my calling. Writing can be a challenging journey, and it’s a journey that is worth taking. Having the right attitude will significantly affect one’s productivity and overall satisfaction with the writing process. 

In the first part of this three-part series, I will guide you through the first four of twelve tips to help you get in the right mindset to reignite your passion for writing. After all, winter is (eventually) coming, and as the kiddos return to school, it’s an excellent time to make sure you find a routine and get in a positive mindset to do what you do best: write. 

  1. Set Clear Goals: I encourage you to set clear and achievable writing goals. Specific targets, such as a certain number of words, pages, or time, can give writers a sense of purpose and accomplishment. I personally set a word count goal. Since I am limited by time, my word count and page count can vary daily. 
  2. Celebrate Writing Wins: Allow yourself to celebrate even small victories. Completing a chapter, hitting a word count milestone, or receiving positive feedback from beta readers can all be reasons to celebrate. Don’t underestimate progress – progress over perfection. 
  3. Embrace Imperfection: Perfectionism is a creativity killer; it is nothing more than fear masking itself. I encourage you to embrace imperfections and view writing as a process of growth rather than striving for flawlessness. As we make strides toward our goals, fear may arise. Fear of being an imposter, flawed, or writing something unworthy of reading. DO NOT let fear stop you. If you missed my Summer of Love series, read what I wrote about the acronym FEAR – false evidence appearing real. Don’t listen to your fears when writing. Every writer writes a shitty first draft, and there is no exception to this fact, so embrace the imperfection. 
  4. Create a Supportive Environment: Create a comfortable and inspiring writing space. Surrounding yourself with things that spark creativity and positivity can significantly change your mindset. Your writing space can be a small room or just a comfy corner in a quiet room. Every writer deserves to find a comfortable space where they can create. If you can avoid distractions, even better. If not, grab yourself some noise-canceling headphones. When I am not in my creative space, I have a shawl or a specific hoodie that I often wrap myself up in, thus creating my supportive, creative environment. 

In next week’s post, I’ll discuss four more motivational writing tips to help you develop a positive writing mindset. 

As always, let’s continue the conversation. Leave a comment, question, or a positive quote that will inspire this community of writers.

Overcome one…overcome many

This summer, I was determined to overcome one fear. Though it may not seem like a huge goal, it was necessary to me and my anxious brain. In my Summer of Love series, I explored moving from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance. While this mindset shift remains a work in progress, overcoming this one fear was achievable, and I could obtain it rather quickly. 

About three years ago, I attempted to climb to the highest point in the Smoky Mountains. I let my fear get the best of me and missed spectacular views. As we planned to return this year, I couldn’t let this opportunity pass me again. I enlisted the help of my fearless son and told him under no circumstances was he to allow me to back down. One way or another, I was getting to the top of Clingman’s Dome. 

With each passing day, I grew more and more excited. When we reached the base of the ramp to get up to the observation deck, we began the climb. With my son in front of me leading my path, my hand gripped tightly to one of the straps on his camera bag. I kept my eyes fixed on the pavement under my feet. Once I got up to the observation deck, I let go of my son and sat on the bench in the middle. The crowded deck contained brave people who took the nervous journey as I did and others who didn’t possess an ounce of fear. 

I soaked in the sights of the clear sunny summer day. I eventually stood up, grabbed the handlebar, and looked as far as I could to the east and west. I strolled around, bringing myself closer and closer to the edge. I found my husband sitting down below. He was gracious enough to take this picture. Sitting there, he thought, “If she can do it, I can do it too.” Within a few minutes, he was by my side, and we basked in the sights of the Great Smoky Mountains together. We celebrated each other’s success in overcoming this fear. 

This picture is the one I want forever framed in my brain and tattooed on my heart. This is the day I rewired the neuropathways of anxiety to achievement. I am so excited about what fear I will overcome next. 

Take small steps each day. Living with anxiety is not easy; if you find anxiety is prevailing, seek help. There are so many free resources out there offering you ways to heal. Here are a few that I have used: 

As always, talking about anxiety and fear is essential. Let’s keep the conversation going. Have you been able to overcome a fear? If so, what steps did you take to do so, and have you used it as a catalyst to overcome others? Please drop a comment below or visit me on my Instagram page to comment. 

A father’s love is forever

Three months ago, I lost my father. This three-month mark is hitting hard for some reason. I don’t overthink it and ask why. I sit with the loss. I cry when I need to release my emotions. I journal about all the memories that flood my mind. I also journal about conflicted feelings of wasted time by not asking him more about his life. I talk with my father in the quiet moments of the day, telling him how much I miss him. I know he is in heaven watching over us and has us covered in his love, but I miss him a lot. I’m sharing the eulogy I wrote for my father to remind myself that his life was complete, even if I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. 

They say that a man occupies his daughter’s life up until the day she is married. While there is some truth to that statement, luckily for my sisters and me and along with our families, our dad didn’t nearly occupy a space in our lives; his presence and all that he taught us in life is forever woven into who we are and thus handed down into who our children are becoming. 

When someone you love so dearly passes, your memories are scattered as if you dropped a jar of sand, and the granules spread far and wide. Some memories are more easily grasped, while some require more precision to hold on to. Some are only seen when the light makes them sparkle. And then some memories are sprinkled into your hands by others sharing in the pain of loss. 

Everyone here has memories of my dad, and I am thankful for those who shared them with me. If I made a list of all the memories, we’d be here for quite some time, so I’ll share this…my dad was a good man. He never judged any one of his kids’ mistakes. He was firm, lovable, competitive, and protective. His love was unconditional, and I am forever grateful to have been in his life. 

I’m not sure what he would want me to share with you, and while I can share a lifetime of the sweetest memories I have of him, I’ll start with the “infamous” bowling bet we made. I was around eight years old, and he told me that if I bowled a high score and won my tournament, he’d buy me a new ball. Well, that day, not only did I win, but I also bowled a 178. It was a maroon sparkle ball with Denise engraved in gold, and it was all my own – I finally had something that wasn’t a hand-me-down!

Another memory was that of my wedding day and dance. He was proud that I was marrying Chris, but he also reassured me that he would be there should I have any doubts about going through with the wedding. He also reminded Chris at the altar that he knew “where he lived.” Later that evening, the lyrics to a Billy Joel song led our steps. Who could ever imagine words being a perfect fit for two ordinary people, “Don’t go changing to try and please me, You never let me down before, I would not leave you in times of trouble, I said, “I love you,” that’s forever, I love you just the way you are.” And it’s those lyrics that have a more significant meaning than ever before.

Then came the memories of my son with my dad. One such visit was when my dad lifted Ryan to touch a plane in the Air and Space Museum. Luckily it didn’t get us kicked out, but Ryan, I want you to know that your grandfather will always lift you up when you need it most. 

We knew his passing would come, but we could never have imagined how deep this loss feels. The weekend before his passing, the five of us were on Skype. I’ve found some small comfort in telling myself that maybe having us all together, even if it was online, made him realize that his life was complete. On the day we said our final goodbye, my mom and her girls gathered together again, just like we did over 40 years ago on the day they married. Even though it’s been 43 years, being together like that once again made me feel like that small, vulnerable little girl who was forever changed and forever proud to be a Kinney girl. 

I hope you are playing piano and chess.

You will never be forgotten.

Thank you for loving us. 

Summer of Love Series: Finale

As my Summer of Love series ends, I want to wrap things up as best as possible. Here is a high-level view of what I have learned along the way to changing my mindset:

  1. Stop waiting for an outside wish/miracle to change your mind: you need to eliminate the chaos in your mind. You must identify and bravely face the root of your mindset. Be honest! It’s scary to admit where we are lacking or going wrong; however, you must be brave and take on this challenge to heal.
  2. Stop believing you cannot control your thoughts. Do not let some external factor choose your thoughts. Social media. Family. Friends. News outlets. You have complete control. 
  3. Strengthen your mindset. This goes hand in hand with the previous point. What you feed your mindset with is essential. The only way to change your default and automatic thinking is by filling it with God’s truth, abundance, and positivity. 
  4. Separate what you believe from what you feel. Because emotions result from what we believe to be true, we must regularly remind ourselves of positive beliefs. Separating beliefs from emotions will help us eliminate the negative feelings that shape our mindsets. 
  5. W.A.I.T.: When you are pulled into conversations or find your ruminating thoughts defaulting to what you are trying to change, remember to “W.A.I.T.” Stop yourself from talking or thinking negatively and say to yourself, “Why am I talking?” When we pause, we allow our brains to quiet down, making room for creative solutions to problems or for positive and abundant thoughts. Resist those negative thoughts and assist positive ones. 
  6. Celebrate the small wins. Be thankful for the journey you are taking. There will be setbacks, but make them a momentary trip up. One way to celebrate the small wins is through love. Do not judge or attack ourselves or others. These small judgments are nothing more than powerful negative thoughts. When these judgments or negative thoughts come, offer forgiveness for having the thought and consciously say, “I choose love instead.” God made us in His image, and He is love. 
  7. Expect miracles. Choose to expect that something good is going to happen. It’s an act of faith. Do not let your imagination create a false narrative. Instead of constantly imagining or expecting things to go wrong or to be the worst, lean into God’s promises and have faith that something good is coming your way. Having positive thoughts at the forefront of your brain takes practice, but eventually, you will be filled with love, community, and grace. 

Here are a few verses to lean into on your mindset journey: 

Romans 15:13, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”

Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” 

2 Thessalonians 3:5, “May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ.”

2 Peter 1:2, “Grace and peace be yours in abundance.”

Thank you for joining me on this journey. I hope you took away some seeds of love from this series. Let’s connect through comments and support each other to grow in love.