Posted on by Denise Hartzler

Face Everything And Rise Mindset

In the past, I wrote about the many acronyms for the word fear. The one I specifically wrote about was “False Evidence Appearing Real.” While there is truth to this acronym, I am shifting my mindset to realizing that FEAR should mean “Face Everything And Rise.”

Reframing how one looks at fear can have profound positive effects on one’s ability to push harder toward one’s goals. When we realize the power of facing our fears, we transform an obstacle into an opportunity for growth. Each fear we push past provides a stepping stone toward our most authentic potential. 

How do we embrace this new perspective: 

  1. Acknowledge the fear. Denying a fear gives it power. Write down what you are afraid of and acknowledge its presence. Are you afraid of failure? Are you afraid of upsetting someone? Are you afraid to put your needs ahead of those you love? Are you afraid to make a career change? Are you afraid to give up drinking? Are you afraid of not being perfect? Regardless of how big or small this fear you are holding on to and feeding, it does not matter. The moment you acknowledge its presence is enough to make a shift toward liberation. 
  2. Analyze the source. This part can sometimes be painful as we move towards the root. Finding the root means looking at past experiences, familial or societal pressures, or self-doubt. Find the negative experience and reframe the situation to learn the lesson. Side note: I firmly believe that certain things will keep repeating until the lesson is learned. So, what can you learn from this experience that has your fear firmly rooted in you? 
  3. Take that first step (and small ones after that). Facing everything and rise doesn’t mean diving into the deep end. Take incremental steps toward your goals. I’ll use my fear of public speaking. I started by speaking in front of a small group. Gradually, I began to increase the audience size, and I felt the confidence building. I’m still acclimating, and it’s still nerve-wracking right before I have to speak, but once I get going, I find my nerves settling in for a conversation.  
  4. Celebrate. Every time you face a fear and rise above it, celebrate your achievement. Recognizing your progress reinforces the positive mindset and motivates you to tackle more challenges. Keep a journal of your successes to remind yourself of your strength and resilience.

When you adopt the “Face Everything and Rise mindset,” fear becomes the catalyst for growth. You’ll develop resilience, gain confidence, and expand your comfort zone. Shifting your mindset about fear from avoidance to empowerment can transform your life. 

I hope you can try to embrace the concept of “Face Everything and Rise” to confront your fears head-on and use them as opportunities for growth. Remember, the path to your authentic self often lies on the other side of fear.

Up next on the blog: It’s time to check your surroundings! We are talking about how to take account of who is in your circle. Friends, family, colleagues…if they aren’t inspiring you to be creative, it’s a cage, not a circle!

Posted on by Denise Hartzler

Navigating Grief

Where have I been?

Since around Christmas time, I felt myself slipping into a deep rut of grief. As we rang in the New Year, my family suffered yet another loss – this time, it was my father-in-law. To say I was angry would be an understatement. I couldn’t take yet another loss of someone I truly loved and continued asking God, why? Why so many, so quickly? All these deaths were happening too fast. In the last year, I lost two Great Aunts who were a cornerstone in my childhood. Then, the unexpected loss of my father. Next was the loss of my father-in-law, whom I had known since I was 16. And of recent, my dear Uncle. Again, this is another family member who was the solid foundation of my childhood. With all these hits to my foundation, I feel the ground under me has turned to sand.

What makes navigating so much loss difficult is how life goes on.

Denise Hartzler

As a teacher, we have to play the part of positivity and strength. Teaching has been a mere distraction during this shift these last few months and has left me spent. I am slowly pulling myself out of the pit of exhaustion and sorrow. I have found comfort in reading the Bible every day, my husband (who is grieving too), our son’s hockey matches and lacrosse games, and surrounding myself with my mom and sisters, along with a few close friends. I have also turned back to therapy. Here is what I have covered with my therapist thus far…

Embracing Your Emotions

“When faced with grief, it’s important to allow yourself to feel and process your emotions,” said my therapist. I struggle to allow myself to feel emotions because processing emotions becomes difficult at work. The sadness, anger, guilt, or confusion hits you when you least expect it. It’s like a tidal wave of emotions, and you have two options: embrace it and let it pour out, or delay it by hiding it and letting it go later. The former is the ideal, but in reality, the latter wins out. My therapist has tried reassuring me that it’s okay to grieve in my way and at my own pace, yet finding peace has eluded me.

Finding Support and Connection

During grief, seeking support and connection with others who can offer comfort and understanding is essential. Reach out to friends, family members, or support groups who can provide a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, and a sense of community during your darkest moments. Remember, you are not alone in your pain.

Seeking Spiritual Guidance

For many, including myself, finding solace in spiritual beliefs and practices can offer a sense of comfort and healing during times of grief. Turning to biblical verses on healing and ways to be comforted has provided strength and reassurance amid life’s challenges. I often remind myself of Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Practicing Self-Care

My therapist reminds me often that taking care of myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually is essential when navigating grief (as well as anxiety and depression). While she acknowledges that the following sounds cliche, she stresses its importance because we often lose sight of such healthy practices: 

  • Engage in activities that bring you joy and peace, such as journaling, long walks, prayer, exercise, or spending time in nature.
  • Nourish the physical body with healthy foods and make rest and relaxation a priority.
  • Be gentle with yourself as you move through the healing process (again, challenging for me).

Finding Meaning and Purpose

While this grief feels overwhelming and all-consuming, I am learning that it can also be a catalyst for personal growth and transformation. I find myself reflecting on the values instilled in me by each of my relatives and the legacy I wish to leave. I am hopeful that finding meaning and purpose in grief will result in the renewal of hope and resilience.

By embracing emotions, seeking support, finding comfort in spiritual guidance, practicing self-care, and finding meaning in pain, I can navigate through grief with grace. I must remember I am stronger with God, family, and friends.

“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ~ Isaiah 41:10

Personal note: I am forever thankful to my therapist at BetterHelp Online Counseling who has been guiding me through anxiety, panic attacks, depression, menopause, and now grief. The match of my values and needs with a licensed professional therapist was impeccable.

Legal: This article/blogpost is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Readers/Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

Posted on by Denise Hartzler

Motivational Writing Tips: Part III

Welcome to the final post of our Motivational Writing tips – tips to restart your writing habits and keep you writing. The last two posts focused mindset shifts to help you renew or refocus your writing habits. So many life factors can interrupt a daily writing habit, and we must accept that this will happen to us occasionally; however, writers need to be conscious of how far we allow the disruption to steer us from our dreams and writing goals. If you are a writer experiencing a drift, take a moment right now and reflect on your productivity as an author and get ready to reestablish writing consistency. Once you have this honest chat about your writing habits, you will be more motivated to return to the page.

9. Stay Consistent: This is the biggest struggle for most writers, especially those with full-time jobs, little ones, driving teens, aging parents, or physical impediments. Life happens to us all, and that is when doing something consistently can either feel like a burden or provide a sanctuary. If there is one thing I have learned about and struggled with the most, it’s consistency. On days when energy is illusive, or everything keeps knocking on your door, I highly encourage you to find a few moments to sit down and write, even if it’s only a few sentences. These little actions send a big message to the universe that you are not giving up even on your most challenging days. I promise you that these consistent efforts will lead to significant progress over time.

10. Connect with a Community: Find your tribe! If groups of people aren’t your thing, find at least one person who writes. Surrounding yourself with like-minded people encourages you to show up for yourself and your writing regularly. Connecting and checking in with a group or a partner is accountability. Again, you are telling the universe that you are on this path and will find people to help you stay on the track. Strength in numbers, my friends! Don’t be afraid to share experiences, challenges, and successes with your tribe! The only thing I caution you about is online groups. Ensure you vet the online groups/communities before sharing your work. Sharing our work with others is frightening. Unfortunately, there are ill-willed people out there. Build the relationship first before sharing your work, but don’t let it stop you from finding your writing community. And if it genuinely frightens you, start a group where you make the rules of engagement. However you approach it, finding your writing people will help you reach your writing goals quicker. 

11. Focus on the Process: Though this sounds like one of those wood signs you find in Hobby Lobby, there is a lot of truth behind the process’s value. Shifting your focus solely from the result to the process itself is where we get better. It’s that space where we can celebrate the little wins and big wins. Imagine only celebrating the 70,000th word? While reaching the end of your novel is worth celebrating, other milestones deserve a celebration to keep you going! Why not reward yourself for completing chapter one or when you solve a hole in the plot? Engaging deeply in writing and exploring characters and worlds can be intrinsically rewarding. Rewards do not need to be costly objects; while they can be, they can also be something as simple as a new sticker for your laptop, an extra 20 minutes on social media, a nap, an adult beverage, or a cupcake. However you choose to celebrate, set up your milestones. With each milestone you pass, you become a stronger writer.  

12. Reflect on Achievements: I highly encourage authors to journal their achievements, no matter how small. When feeling discouraged, you can reflect on these accomplishments to remind yourself how far you have come. Teachers often have a small box or envelope filled with notes and pictures of appreciation. These notes help them during their most challenging time. Writers, too, should have moments to sit back and reflect on the challenges they overcame and milestones they surpassed. Saving rejection letters is a big thing among authors. It becomes their drive and reminder to keep going, to prove them wrong. Always create space in your calendar to reflect on all you have gained. 

Every writer is unique, so you must tailor any advice you receive to serve your purpose. By providing practical tips and fostering a positive mindset, I am empowering you, struggling authors, to overcome obstacles and thrive in your writing endeavors.

We are a community here, and I’d love to hear how you get back on course when life gets in your way and writing takes a backseat. Leave a comment below. 

Posted on by Denise Hartzler

Give Yourself Permission to Pause

The other day when I was watching tv with Chris, I asked him to pause the show while I ran upstairs to check on dinner. Why is it second nature for us to ask someone to “press pause when a show is playing,” but when we need a pause for our health, we hesitate, or worse, we keep life going in fast-forward motion? 

Last week, I skipped this blog because I ran out of steam. I returned to work last week and while the welcome back was warm and full of hugs, laughs, tears, and genuinely kind words, I didn’t have the energy to write this post. And guess what? That’s ok. I hit the pause button rather than pushing through.

Even this past Monday, after three days at work, I had to call out because I woke up with a fever, body aches, and deep congestion. I showered, got ready for work, and had all intentions of getting into school and teaching throughout the day. Then I sat down and paused for a moment. I leaned in and listened to my body. Within that brief moment, I realized how sick I’d become. Flu, RSV, COVID, and so many “unnamed” viruses are floating around in school. After I whipped out sub plans, I read through eight emails from students who all were around me last week and are now home with the flu. 

I also know my body does not do well when the weather changes. These last few days, we had the air conditioning back on. Yeah, let that sink in. It’s November. The air conditioning is on! The heat was on two weeks ago, and we’re about to turn it back on later this week when it’ll be in the forties at night. Anyways, as crazy as the weather is and the crazy amount of stuff floating around school, I’d inevitably get sick.   

Being sick doesn’t mean that you are weak. Is it an inconvenience? Yes. For teachers, I know it poses a problem with so few subs working this year. But when we are sick, it forces us to pause. Therefore, I encourage you to look at the positive, even if you feel miserable. 

I want you to imagine what you would feel like if you hit the pause button more often when you are not sick:   

  • Take time for yourself.
  • Take time for your family or for those you love dearly. 
  • Take time for your goals.
  • Take time for your dreams! 
  • Take time to be present. 
  • Take time to pray. 
  • Take time in nature. 

The list is endless! Just promise me that before the busyness of the holidays and the flu and cold season force you to pause, you hit the pause button without guilt.  

I’d love to hear from you! Share how you know when it’s time to hit pause and what you do during your pause.

Posted on by Denise Hartzler

Do you take your own advice?

Last month, I dished out a lot “advice” for how to get yourself and your writing moving forward rather than staying static. In my classroom, I also give students “suggestions” (aka advice) for how to improve their reading endurance, writing skills, even their time management executive functioning skills. There are also many conversations we have that bring about disagreements. In my classroom, disagreements come with rules because for them, it needs to be a place of trust. After all, they are still learning, despite them thinking they don’t English classes in high school. It’s a promise I make to them on day 1 of school and it takes time to build the trust but when it’s there, students trust me to keep debates and disagreements free from judgement, free from name calling, free from bullying, free from all the nastiness. At the end of those discussions I remind them that this rarely happens online. It’s not meant to be a scare tactic, it’s meant to protect them from the lawlessness of the online world.

It’s advice I should haven taken for myself.

Recently I questioned a post on Instagram by a well-known Christian entrepreneur, life coach, writer, etc. which led to an onslaught of his devote followers to start slinging their arrows. I thought I would take my own advice, you know the advice I give my students,”ignore and scroll on.” However, with this post, I choose not to ignore and scroll on, I engaged – and by engaging, I questioned the other side of the story. I refused to take his post at face-value.

From that question alone, I began to carry my cross.

Names like “devil’s advocate” and “satan’s worker” became my labels. It didn’t feel good. His crowd of followers brought into question my faith. I know where I stand in my walk with Christ and I never surround myself with people whereby I need to justify that relationship, especially online. Yet, here I stood fighting off their arrows. Then I took one more arrow than I could handle. The simple pierce of the tip had me teetering on the edge of a dark depression that I know all too well. I felt like one more word would send me into that darkness and I didn’t want to go there, so without any more words or justifications, I walked away. That didn’t make them stop.

Four days later, their new words included, “coward” “too scared to fight” “If you are truly a Christian, you wouldn’t have questioned and then walked away.” The grace of one follower sent me a DM explaining the other side of the story and apologized for giving into the mob mentality. I appreciated her reaching out and responded cautiously.

I shared this experience with my students so they could see that even as an adult, I made a bad decision, didn’t follow my own advice, and suffered the consequences.

I continue to teach my students to question everything. Never take something you read, especially online, at face-value. Research. Read more. Look at both sides. Most importantly, I never allow my students to apologize for asking questions. In a trusted space, questions are welcomed, questions are learning opportunities.

Should I have done my own research before engaging online? Yes.

Should I have walked away without engaging? Possibly.

Should I have checked my armor for cracks before treading into a territory, that I know from past experience, could lead to a fight? Yes.

Did I expect this treatment from fellow Christians? Never.

So will I take my own advice in the future and remember that engaging online is very much like swimming farther into the ocean than your comfortable with, because you could be in trouble very quickly? Possibly…if I have a life vest.