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Motivational Writing Tips: Part II

In last week’s post, we discussed getting into a motivational mindset for any writer struggling or needing a reset. Now is the perfect time to shift your mindset from struggling to striving because the seasons are about to change, and NaNoWriMo preparation month is only a few weeks away! 

This week, let’s focus on the next four steps in our 12 steps of cultivating a positive writer’s mindset. Here we go:

4. Morning Routine: You will hear this in every motivational mindset training known to humankind. Ask any successful person, and they will tell you that they have a non-negotiable morning routine – it is a routine that they rarely skip out on and never apologize for having. This routine travels with them as well. Hotels. Family vacations. Bad weather. Good weather. There are no excuses for skipping out on their morning routine. Starting your day with prayers, positive affirmations, exercise, journaling, or watching the sun rise has endless benefits on your mindset. It sets a positive tone for the day. It may feel like the only positive thing that happens on some days! It may be the only task you accomplish on some days. But again, it sets the tone for the day. Make your morning routine positive and non-negotiable. If you don’t feel like getting out of bed, do the Mel Robbins 5-4-3-2-1 countdown. Remember your ‘why’ ~ remind yourself why you are getting out of bed.

5. Visualize Success: I am new to practicing visualizing (or manifesting). It follows the general law of attraction. If you can see it, you can be it. I encourage you to visualize your writing success. Imagine the accomplishment and joy you’ll feel when you complete your writing project. Several authors I know take pictures of themselves sitting on a mini-stage in Barnes and Noble. They imagine what it will be like when they are a guest speaker reading from their novel. Once you have your success image, have faith that God (or whatever higher power you believe in) will make it bigger than you can imagine. I often talk about ways to serve others with or without commercial success. After all, helping someone who is facing a struggle or is just beginning something you have been working on for years is what we need in this world, especially now more than ever.

6. Practice Self-Compassion: Writing can be challenging, and setbacks are a normal part of the process. I encourage you to practice self-compassion and treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer to a friend. I listened to a conversation with Matthew McConaughey last week in which he talks about how to be the best version of ourselves to serve others. The biggest takeaway was when he said, “We must learn how to be selfish to be selfless.” It was a simple statement, but it is heavily weighted in truth. To be the best versions of ourselves, we must take care of ourselves first, and then we can help others. We can serve other’s needs because most of ours have been met. Think about what needs you have right now. For me, my physical health needs attention. I need to overhaul how I eat for my body to feel well. So, I have to comfort myself by giving it organic foods that will fuel me rather than the inflammation. All summer, I’ve been practicing mindfulness. I’m taking time to pray and journal at sunrise. This small 30-minute practice gives my anxious brain time to be calm. It gives me time to breathe in peace. Another trick by Mel Robbins is the High-5 habit. Every morning, she looks herself in the eye in the bathroom mirror and gives herself a high-5 – physically touching her hand to the mirror. Giving yourself this type of encouragement is a form of self-compassion. It feels awkward at first, but it can be powerful.

7. Find Inspiration: If you are stuck in a writing rut, I want to help you discover sources of inspiration. Whether reading other authors’ work, exploring new genres, or taking nature walks, finding what fuels your creativity can make the writing journey more enjoyable. If you are tired of walking in nature or around your neighborhood, go to a coffee shop in a nearby metropolitan area and people-watch. Immerse yourself in a new environment. Take a journal with you to capture the moment using all five senses. And vice-versa. If you live in a city, go to a nearby park. Taking an informational course can be inspirational to your writing. Seek out free online seminars about topics you always wanted to learn about. I have a very active public library that always hosts hands-on workshops or lectures, and it’s all free. One day, I found an old church and asked if I could sit in the chapel. I sat there for nearly an hour, taking in the stained glass windows, listening to the pew creaking under my shifting weight, and noticing the smell of frankincense and lemon polish. If there’s one thing I am sure about, it’s that to find inspiration, we must unplug. Unplug from the phones and the noise of the world (even if it’s positive). Start by taking a few minutes and then a few hours, eventually taking breaks for an entire day. It will feel good, I promise. You might have some anxiety initially, but the more you ditch the noise, the calmer you will feel.

This mini-series aims to bring you closer to your writing dreams and help you breathe new life into your writing life. Making subtle shifts can have profound effects on your life. Come back next week for the final four tips! 

I’d love to hear if any of these tips resonate with you and if you have tried them or plan to give them a shot! Remember, writing is a journey worth sharing.

Posted on by Denise Hartzler

Motivational Writing Tips

Helping struggling authors find motivation and develop a positive mindset is incredibly valuable in my calling. Writing can be a challenging journey, and it’s a journey that is worth taking. Having the right attitude will significantly affect one’s productivity and overall satisfaction with the writing process. 

In the first part of this three-part series, I will guide you through the first four of twelve tips to help you get in the right mindset to reignite your passion for writing. After all, winter is (eventually) coming, and as the kiddos return to school, it’s an excellent time to make sure you find a routine and get in a positive mindset to do what you do best: write. 

  1. Set Clear Goals: I encourage you to set clear and achievable writing goals. Specific targets, such as a certain number of words, pages, or time, can give writers a sense of purpose and accomplishment. I personally set a word count goal. Since I am limited by time, my word count and page count can vary daily. 
  2. Celebrate Writing Wins: Allow yourself to celebrate even small victories. Completing a chapter, hitting a word count milestone, or receiving positive feedback from beta readers can all be reasons to celebrate. Don’t underestimate progress – progress over perfection. 
  3. Embrace Imperfection: Perfectionism is a creativity killer; it is nothing more than fear masking itself. I encourage you to embrace imperfections and view writing as a process of growth rather than striving for flawlessness. As we make strides toward our goals, fear may arise. Fear of being an imposter, flawed, or writing something unworthy of reading. DO NOT let fear stop you. If you missed my Summer of Love series, read what I wrote about the acronym FEAR – false evidence appearing real. Don’t listen to your fears when writing. Every writer writes a shitty first draft, and there is no exception to this fact, so embrace the imperfection. 
  4. Create a Supportive Environment: Create a comfortable and inspiring writing space. Surrounding yourself with things that spark creativity and positivity can significantly change your mindset. Your writing space can be a small room or just a comfy corner in a quiet room. Every writer deserves to find a comfortable space where they can create. If you can avoid distractions, even better. If not, grab yourself some noise-canceling headphones. When I am not in my creative space, I have a shawl or a specific hoodie that I often wrap myself up in, thus creating my supportive, creative environment. 

In next week’s post, I’ll discuss four more motivational writing tips to help you develop a positive writing mindset. 

As always, let’s continue the conversation. Leave a comment, question, or a positive quote that will inspire this community of writers.

Posted on by Denise Hartzler

Overcome one…overcome many

This summer, I was determined to overcome one fear. Though it may not seem like a huge goal, it was necessary to me and my anxious brain. In my Summer of Love series, I explored moving from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance. While this mindset shift remains a work in progress, overcoming this one fear was achievable, and I could obtain it rather quickly. 

About three years ago, I attempted to climb to the highest point in the Smoky Mountains. I let my fear get the best of me and missed spectacular views. As we planned to return this year, I couldn’t let this opportunity pass me again. I enlisted the help of my fearless son and told him under no circumstances was he to allow me to back down. One way or another, I was getting to the top of Clingman’s Dome. 

With each passing day, I grew more and more excited. When we reached the base of the ramp to get up to the observation deck, we began the climb. With my son in front of me leading my path, my hand gripped tightly to one of the straps on his camera bag. I kept my eyes fixed on the pavement under my feet. Once I got up to the observation deck, I let go of my son and sat on the bench in the middle. The crowded deck contained brave people who took the nervous journey as I did and others who didn’t possess an ounce of fear. 

I soaked in the sights of the clear sunny summer day. I eventually stood up, grabbed the handlebar, and looked as far as I could to the east and west. I strolled around, bringing myself closer and closer to the edge. I found my husband sitting down below. He was gracious enough to take this picture. Sitting there, he thought, “If she can do it, I can do it too.” Within a few minutes, he was by my side, and we basked in the sights of the Great Smoky Mountains together. We celebrated each other’s success in overcoming this fear. 

This picture is the one I want forever framed in my brain and tattooed on my heart. This is the day I rewired the neuropathways of anxiety to achievement. I am so excited about what fear I will overcome next. 

Take small steps each day. Living with anxiety is not easy; if you find anxiety is prevailing, seek help. There are so many free resources out there offering you ways to heal. Here are a few that I have used: 

As always, talking about anxiety and fear is essential. Let’s keep the conversation going. Have you been able to overcome a fear? If so, what steps did you take to do so, and have you used it as a catalyst to overcome others? Please drop a comment below or visit me on my Instagram page to comment. 

Posted on by Denise Hartzler

A father’s love is forever

Three months ago, I lost my father. This three-month mark is hitting hard for some reason. I don’t overthink it and ask why. I sit with the loss. I cry when I need to release my emotions. I journal about all the memories that flood my mind. I also journal about conflicted feelings of wasted time by not asking him more about his life. I talk with my father in the quiet moments of the day, telling him how much I miss him. I know he is in heaven watching over us and has us covered in his love, but I miss him a lot. I’m sharing the eulogy I wrote for my father to remind myself that his life was complete, even if I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. 

They say that a man occupies his daughter’s life up until the day she is married. While there is some truth to that statement, luckily for my sisters and me and along with our families, our dad didn’t nearly occupy a space in our lives; his presence and all that he taught us in life is forever woven into who we are and thus handed down into who our children are becoming. 

When someone you love so dearly passes, your memories are scattered as if you dropped a jar of sand, and the granules spread far and wide. Some memories are more easily grasped, while some require more precision to hold on to. Some are only seen when the light makes them sparkle. And then some memories are sprinkled into your hands by others sharing in the pain of loss. 

Everyone here has memories of my dad, and I am thankful for those who shared them with me. If I made a list of all the memories, we’d be here for quite some time, so I’ll share this…my dad was a good man. He never judged any one of his kids’ mistakes. He was firm, lovable, competitive, and protective. His love was unconditional, and I am forever grateful to have been in his life. 

I’m not sure what he would want me to share with you, and while I can share a lifetime of the sweetest memories I have of him, I’ll start with the “infamous” bowling bet we made. I was around eight years old, and he told me that if I bowled a high score and won my tournament, he’d buy me a new ball. Well, that day, not only did I win, but I also bowled a 178. It was a maroon sparkle ball with Denise engraved in gold, and it was all my own – I finally had something that wasn’t a hand-me-down!

Another memory was that of my wedding day and dance. He was proud that I was marrying Chris, but he also reassured me that he would be there should I have any doubts about going through with the wedding. He also reminded Chris at the altar that he knew “where he lived.” Later that evening, the lyrics to a Billy Joel song led our steps. Who could ever imagine words being a perfect fit for two ordinary people, “Don’t go changing to try and please me, You never let me down before, I would not leave you in times of trouble, I said, “I love you,” that’s forever, I love you just the way you are.” And it’s those lyrics that have a more significant meaning than ever before.

Then came the memories of my son with my dad. One such visit was when my dad lifted Ryan to touch a plane in the Air and Space Museum. Luckily it didn’t get us kicked out, but Ryan, I want you to know that your grandfather will always lift you up when you need it most. 

We knew his passing would come, but we could never have imagined how deep this loss feels. The weekend before his passing, the five of us were on Skype. I’ve found some small comfort in telling myself that maybe having us all together, even if it was online, made him realize that his life was complete. On the day we said our final goodbye, my mom and her girls gathered together again, just like we did over 40 years ago on the day they married. Even though it’s been 43 years, being together like that once again made me feel like that small, vulnerable little girl who was forever changed and forever proud to be a Kinney girl. 

I hope you are playing piano and chess.

You will never be forgotten.

Thank you for loving us. 

Posted on by Denise Hartzler

Summer of Love Series: Finale

As my Summer of Love series ends, I want to wrap things up as best as possible. Here is a high-level view of what I have learned along the way to changing my mindset:

  1. Stop waiting for an outside wish/miracle to change your mind: you need to eliminate the chaos in your mind. You must identify and bravely face the root of your mindset. Be honest! It’s scary to admit where we are lacking or going wrong; however, you must be brave and take on this challenge to heal.
  2. Stop believing you cannot control your thoughts. Do not let some external factor choose your thoughts. Social media. Family. Friends. News outlets. You have complete control. 
  3. Strengthen your mindset. This goes hand in hand with the previous point. What you feed your mindset with is essential. The only way to change your default and automatic thinking is by filling it with God’s truth, abundance, and positivity. 
  4. Separate what you believe from what you feel. Because emotions result from what we believe to be true, we must regularly remind ourselves of positive beliefs. Separating beliefs from emotions will help us eliminate the negative feelings that shape our mindsets. 
  5. W.A.I.T.: When you are pulled into conversations or find your ruminating thoughts defaulting to what you are trying to change, remember to “W.A.I.T.” Stop yourself from talking or thinking negatively and say to yourself, “Why am I talking?” When we pause, we allow our brains to quiet down, making room for creative solutions to problems or for positive and abundant thoughts. Resist those negative thoughts and assist positive ones. 
  6. Celebrate the small wins. Be thankful for the journey you are taking. There will be setbacks, but make them a momentary trip up. One way to celebrate the small wins is through love. Do not judge or attack ourselves or others. These small judgments are nothing more than powerful negative thoughts. When these judgments or negative thoughts come, offer forgiveness for having the thought and consciously say, “I choose love instead.” God made us in His image, and He is love. 
  7. Expect miracles. Choose to expect that something good is going to happen. It’s an act of faith. Do not let your imagination create a false narrative. Instead of constantly imagining or expecting things to go wrong or to be the worst, lean into God’s promises and have faith that something good is coming your way. Having positive thoughts at the forefront of your brain takes practice, but eventually, you will be filled with love, community, and grace. 

Here are a few verses to lean into on your mindset journey: 

Romans 15:13, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”

Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” 

2 Thessalonians 3:5, “May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ.”

2 Peter 1:2, “Grace and peace be yours in abundance.”

Thank you for joining me on this journey. I hope you took away some seeds of love from this series. Let’s connect through comments and support each other to grow in love. 

Posted on by Denise Hartzler

Summer of Love Series: Day 25

As we are nearing the end of the Summer of Love series, it is important to understand that when we cast judgments on ourselves or others, we remove our ability for love. Healing happens in a community, not in isolation. Yes, it’s important to be alone with your thoughts, and it’s important to quiet the chaos of our minds, but the company we keep is equally important. Suppose you are in a group that always focuses on the negative or, as in my case, shares in my lack/scarcity mentality. If I am constantly in that company, I block any chance of abundance and any possibility of a mindset shift because my conversations are feeding/fueling the scarcity/negativity. 

What is the best way to step back and not allow those unwanted thoughts or statements to dominate the forefront of our minds (aka our automatic response)? Use the W.A.I.T. method:

  • W – Why
  • A – am
  • I – I
  • T – talking? 

I first learned this method from Gabby Bernstein. Talking about your lack/scarcity fuels it, so use the “Why am I talking” prompt to stop you from feeding that lack mentality. When you stop talking, you allow creative solutions to come into play. You give abundance a chance to work its way into your life. 

This subtle shift reminds me that God did not give me a lack/scarcity mentality. It also serves as a reminder that the company we keep is important. In reality, we cannot always be around positive people, especially if the negative ones are family. So how does one go about creating a protective barrier around their mindset? We learn to tune out and replace and remember to W.A.I.T.  

I learned to tune things out as a mother. Most mothers will agree that there are moments when you are driving alone before you realize you are listening to your kid’s music rather than what you want. This is because we trained our minds to tune it out, especially when it’s on an endless repeat cycle the moment your car starts. Therefore, we must learn to tune out and replace the negative/scarcity mindset with positive, loving, and abundant thoughts. Have scripture or affirmations on repeat. Autoplaying God’s promises and your new narrative will tune out the negativity. So you can now become the calm body at the table who radiates peace and love. Eventually, the rewiring takes place and becomes the automatic response. 

I know we can do this! It will take lots of practice, but positivity and abundance will come.  

I will leave you with my most recent prayer: Dear God, I am aware of my financial scarcity mindset, and I confess this fear’s stronghold on my life. I’m willing to release it to you. Thank you for your guidance. You did not give me a spirit of fear. Heal me from this sabotage, awaken the love within me, and give me a spirit of abundance so that I may use my talents to help others and serve you. Amen.  

Give W.A.I.T. a shot, and let me know how it worked. 

Posted on by Denise Hartzler

Summer of Love Series: Day 15

I quickly learned I needed more self-care as I wrapped up week two of my Summer of Love Series. Taking a hard look at my self-attacks is powerful, and all these emotional surrenders leave me vulnerable and emotionally drained, so tenderness is in order. This deep dive into myself, my actions, my choices, and my self-limiting beliefs require bravery. But sometimes bravery will leave you wanting nothing more than to curl up in a fetal position, cry, sleep, and turn off all the noise. While some of those actions, particularly turning off the noise and sleeping, are options, I want to replenish my spirit with intentional affirmations. 

Affirmation #1: I choose to love myself today. Choosing love over fear is 100% optional. What we say to ourselves unconsciously becomes what we consciously believe about ourselves. I have shrunken myself down for a decade, but now I choose to live in love. 

Affirmation #2: I will give myself a peaceful and consistent reminder that love and gratitude are within me. I have complete, unobstructed access to gratitude. I am grateful for my willingness to change my mindset. 

Affirmation #3: I am grateful to be in this process. As I rest in this mindset of love and gratitude, I will go slow and intentional in the fast-paced world around me. 

As I’ve been journaling and blogging my way through this series, I was compelled to share the following entry with you: I believe I am love. Everything in me and outside of me is love. I believe this, and I commit to this – I am love. 

Along the lines of breathing love back into my mindset, here are a few bible verses that have been showing up lately:

  • “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” Corinthians 13:7
  • “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7
  • “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Colossians 3: 13

I will be back in another 5 days as I move deeper into love, gratitude, and forgiveness.

Thank you for being on this journey with me.

Posted on by Denise Hartzler

Summer of Love Series: Day 10

I am moving into week two of shifting my mindset and opening myself up to self-love. Opening up to self-love is not the same as becoming a narcissist. It’s simply opening up to self-forgiveness and letting go of the person I once was ~ a person full of fear and smallness.

If we want to become a more positive energy in this world, we must ditch self-defeating talk and thought patterns. A lack of self-love led me to isolate my God-given gift of writing from the world. It has made me a people pleaser, always caring for others while putting myself and my time at the bottom. Doing this for several years made me resentful. It exhausted me. It’s distracted me from my true calling in life. It made me small. So small that I could never believe that I deserved to dream big or feel I was worthy of big blessings in life ~ it was just a new form of that scarcity mindset. And now that I am facing turning 50, it’s time to reverse this trend. It’s time to learn to love myself as God has designed me.

To start reversing the adverse effects, I must take the next few days and begin the deep dive (again) into how this smallness has made me bypass opportunities, how this smallness has made me afraid to take risks, and how I allowed the scarcity mindset to keep me in this endless loop of stagnation.

I will specifically journal the following prompts while keeping in mind what the bible says about forgiveness: 

  • Where have I been limiting myself?  
  • What have I asked for and received? 
  • What have I received and squandered away?
  • What doors have I consciously shut? 
  • What opportunities have been presented to me that I wasn’t qualified, talented, or intelligent enough for? 
  • Am I willing to take responsibility for this scarcity mindset? 
  • Am I willing to take responsibility and ask God for forgiveness? 

Forgiveness restores broken relationships (Genesis 50:17). 

Forgiveness is a path to love (Luke 7:47). 

Forgiveness precedes healing (Luke 5:17-26). 

God tells us to forgive instead of seeking revenge or bearing a grudge (Leviticus 19:18).

Posted on by Denise Hartzler

Summer of Love Series: Days 6-9

I took a break from daily blogging to be present with family during my father’s internment at the Veteran’s Memorial Cemetery. The service was deeply emotional, from the music, the flag presentation to my mom, and the eulogies my sisters and I gave – a lot of emotion that day. 

For the first time in my life, I was unafraid to speak in front of people. There was a lot of family there but also multiple unfamiliar faces. My emotions were running high from the service, which made speaking feel next to impossible. My hands were shaking from holding the paper of my written narrative. Everyone was patient. Everyone understood that I had to pause numerous times to catch my breath, but I pushed through. The pain and sorrow mauled my words and chopped up my sentences, but if anything, I showed my authentic self in a vulnerable space. To me, that takes great courage. 

I wish anyone facing a hard time and showing up with their true vulnerable self on display to understand that we honor you for not hiding your emotions. Too often, we wear masks to hide the ugliness of perceived notions that crying or depression, or anxiety are traits of weakness—quite the opposite. Showing up despite the emotions that can pin you in bed or leave your feet firmly planted where you stand is a testament to your strength. Show up. Show up vulnerable. Show up maskless. We all need your bravery. 

In keeping with this series of overcoming my anxieties and shifting my mindset, there wasn’t a scarcity mindset to be found these last few days. All the love, the hugs, the words of comfort, and the reminder that that’s what family is for were abundant. An abundance of love surrounded me. 

My father’s eulogy will be posted on my social media pages in the upcoming days if you wish to read it. 

Choose love today!